Reacting vs. Responding, and how your first thought, may not be the most skillful thought.
What is the “Second Arrow?” While you may not have heard of it directly, if you've ever had a knee-jerk reaction, maybe yelling at someone in traffic that cut you off, emotionally plowed through a pint of ice cream (or two) after a breakup, or self-isolated after a negative event, then you’ve experienced the “Second Arrow.”
Put yourself in the scenarios above and ask yourself, did that reaction make things better?
Originally described in Buddhist teachings, it’s said, "When an unlearned ordinary person experiences painful physical feelings, they sorrow and wail and lament, beating their breast and falling into confusion. They experience two feelings: physical and mental ones. It's like a person who is struck with an arrow, only to be struck with a second arrow."
Reacting, instead of Responding
We’ve all been there at some point, wailing, lamenting, cursing in response to… you name it. The Second Arrow is Reacting, instead of Responding. Oftentimes, the trigger doesn't even originate physically, but mentally. It's our initial thought, a less skillful and knee-jerk way of handling a seemingly negative event or encounter. We will inevitably encounter suffering, negativity, distress, and we can't control when, what, or how it comes our way, but we know it will. We can, however, when learned and with practice, respond rather than react and decide whether or not we shoot that "second arrow."
Example
Let’s say you’re on the way to your favorite coffee shop to do some work. Upon arrival, you find a sign, “closed for the weekend, sorry for the inconvenience.” This abrupt and unexplained closure now leaves you frustrated, derailing your morning. “Ahhhh, why would they do this, dang it, I really wanted to go here today.” Growing in anger, you storm off down the block, now rattled and on the way to a rough start to the day. Struck with the second arrow; what was an inconvenience now bleeds into emotional turmoil and threatens to spoil your morning.
So what's it look like when clients learn a more skillful approach and avoid that second arrow?
Your first thought
“Damn it, this ruins my morning,” but our first thought is often not the most skillful one, so what’s an alternative, more skillful thought?
Maybe you’ll find a new coffee shop you love just as much this morning.
The coffee shop is closed and that stinks, true… but what else is true?
Maybe they’re renovating and making the place even more enjoyable for when they reopen.
You think "this ruins my morning." What is the evidence supporting this thought? What is the evidence against this thought?
Does this really ruin my morning, or does it just feel like it right now. Will this feeling pass and is it fact or just a feeling?
The point of the second arrow is… It'll ruin your morning if you let it, but if you pause and re-frame things, we can take a better approach to what happens next. This doesn't mean that life won't sting from time to time, but we can dampen how much it stings, or at least how much we amplify the pain.
Buddhist wisdom meets today's treatments
The concept of the second arrow is rooted in Buddhist teachings, but one need not be a Buddhist to embody it; in fact, many secular and Western therapeutic approaches embody Eastern Philosophy, including Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Mindfulness Practices, and Radical Acceptance. In fact, its usefulness and growing acceptance in helping people cope with difficulty, is why we chose to incorporate Second Arrow into our name. When clients embody this story, they develop a more skillful approach to suffering, hardship, and nutrition.
How we embody the lesson of the Second Arrow
We aim to build our clients up on a solid nutritional AND behavioral foundation so they become resilient athletes and people. We help people avoid second arrows and learn to master not only their nutrition, but the behaviors that drive their nutrition.
If you're ready to break free from the cycle of reactive behavior and poor nutrition habits, we invite you to join us on this journey. Together, we'll transform how you navigate life's challenges, build your nutrition know-how, and help you emerge faster, stronger, and healthier than ever before.
Work with us
Contact us today via email or contact form below to learn more about how we can best work together.
Comments